Vocabulary, writing, and opening doors

I knew this wasn't going to happen overnight, but I'm already beginning to see the doors crack open. During the past couple months, I have definitely seen a marked improvement in my vocabulary in my writing and conversation. Perhaps it isn't as noticeable yet, but I'm finding it easier and more natural. Part of my social awkwardness can be attributable to the fact that I often freeze my conversation mid-stream, because I can't find exactly the right "words to say". And once I recover, the train of thought has been completely lost and I've lost my captive audience.

This is something that will definitely improve as I continue to read challenging material, and put more effort into my writing. As of right now, blogging is still considerably difficult. I often find myself "stuck" on certain phrases, in order to make it appear correct to the readers' eyes. Because of this, it probably takes 5 times longer to write a 500-word post than it really should. At my best, I should be able to constantly be typing from my stream of consciousness like second nature.

It is important that I mention "challenging" material as far as reading goes. As like most everyone else, I've read a good amount of newspaper/magazine/web articles over the years. More often than not, these are easy reads accessible to the masses. My love for expanding horizons through literature (or vocabulary, in particular) has been limited to Magic the Gathering cards. As a kid, I used to read a ton, and was highly motivated by it. Then around 5th grade, everything dropped off as I desperately wanted to act like a "normal" kid. This attitude stuck with me and therefore I've been reading and writing on a fifth-grade level (at least for myself) ever since. Things have improved slightly in the past few years or so, but if you go back and read my blog archives (http://zaweekly.blogspot.com) you'll notice a huge difference.

So where do we go from here? I've got a number of short-term "quests". First and foremost, I'm currently reading a book called the Critical Path by Buckmister Fuller. This is BY FAR the most challenging, heavy material I have ever read. So far, I am very intrigued and yet I'm only about 50 pages into it. Next, I need to get into the habit of writing down words I am unfamiliar with, and looking up definitions. Yes, it's like grade school all over again. But...it's effective! Third, I'm working on keeping a dream journal. This may appear to be unrelated to the other topics but it certainly does have relevance. My dreams have always been quite vivid, and they are often a source for my inspiration and creativity (and horror stories, on occasion). The truth is, I'm not very "creative". I cannot take an idea out of mid-air and construct it in real life. So preserving these "dreamy" ideas have a degree of importance.