A new realization

Actually, this isn't really anything new -- however it's something that I haven't been able to put into words very cleanly ever. It has to do with the possibility that I have an alter ego -- that my mind possesses two different sets of attitudes which show themselves at different times. My prevailing temperament, the ISTP is something that I seem to have latched onto since around age 16 or so. This was also the time "Za" was born; a much friendlier, easygoing person who seemed not to have a care in the world.

The question becomes, is "Za" an alter ego, or is it my natural representation? Had I finally found my true place in the world after years of being pushed around and frustrated? It seems like this is a distinct possibility. First, let us visit the "other" side of my brain as an ESTJ.

My ESTJ side is very structured, organized and workmanlike. It has been a huge part of why I have been successful in my career -- everyone likes an employee who lives to work, and that's exactly what my attitude is. Unfortunately, this side seems to have a number of unhealthy side effects at times. Long story short, nobody really likes me (except for myself). I can probably be described as having an overinflated ego or power trip, and I am not very considerate of others. Thankfully, this extreme doesn't happen every often and I have been able to integrate both mindsets into one very unique person.

Can a person wear two different hats? There's no doubt I have some very conflicting perspectives of people and their actions. For me, I can definitely turn this into a positive by being able to relate to several perspectives, and understanding others a lot more. Maybe it's not such a big problem after all. Maybe I'm just fine the way I am. Maybe I just needed to finally put this all into words so I could sort it out on paper rather than in my perpetually racing mind.